Is your sexual behaviour
a problem?

Does your behaviour repeatedly conflict with your commitments?

Does your behaviour repeatedly conflict with your values?

Does your behaviour repeatedly conflict with your self-control?

Does your behaviour repeatedly result in negative consequences?

Does your behaviour repeatedly lack adequate sexual responsibility?

We are a specialized, integrated team to facilitate recovery for the addict, the partner and the relationship.

Therapeutic techniques

Task Centred approach to recovery outlined in “FACING THE SHADOW, Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery”, by Patrick Carnes Ph.D

Focus on couples healing and recovery from, ‘COURAGEOUS LOVE, A Couples Guide to Conquering Betrayal”, by Dr. Stephanie Carnes.

Trauma Informed – Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

Somatic Transformation

EMDR – Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

Psychological Approach to Couples Therapy

Imago Relationship Therapy

We are here and we are ready to help!

Sex Addiction Therapy

The Road to Recovery

In childhood when the need to bond with others has been wounded through trauma, neglect or abandonment, people can experience great emotional pain. They then have difficulty relating to their sexuality in ways that honour their values, respect their bodies and encourage growth in relationships.

The accessibility, affordability and anonymity involved with pornography use can lead to compulsive, secret and consequential behaviour patterns.

Sexual behaviour problems are intimacy disorders. Sex addiction is defined by repeated and often escalating sexual patterns which are acted out often without regard to the personal or relational consequences that these actions create. It is a serious problem that involves lies, betrayal and deception.

If you can relate to this, you are not alone. There is a step by step, one day at a time approach that can help you restore your life to sanity.

Partners of Sex Addicts

Trauma Resolution

If you are the partner of someone who has sexual behaviour problems you are experiencing sex-addiction-induced trauma. Social isolation, shame, and disruption in the ability to trust your spouse, self, or others are common. This is a specific type of trauma that comes from the impact of your partners chronic pattern of sexual acting out, emotional abuse, deception, betrayal and manipulation. Discovering a partner’s sexual betrayal can be shameful, overwhelming, frightening and infuriating. You might need help to cope with fear, anger, concern and confusion that inevitably comes from the trauma experienced when one has been impacted by sex addiction.

The model that we follow treats the significant and profound trauma that is experienced by the partner who has experienced the consequences of sex addiction and the associated patterns of relational perpetration, violation and abuse in the context of an intimate relationship. We do not use the term “co-addict” to understand the partner.

Couples Therapy

Reconciliation and Healing

If you are reading this chances are your relationship is in crisis. You may have discovered your partners pornography use, an affair, sexualized relationships outside of the relationship or some other form of sexual betrayal. It is only natural that you would be thinking that ending the relationship is the only thing to do. If you and your partner are hurting but truly love each other and want to make it work, healing and restoration is possible.

When the betrayal behaviours are first revealed couples often need help with boundaries and agreements.

Couples counselling is most helpful when the addict has traction in recovery and the partner feels ready.

Couples counselling can also hope with a facilitated healing practice that includes a complete disclosure from the addict, an impact statement from the partner followed by a restitution statement given by the addict.

We are a specialized group of therapists who are experienced in assisting clients in exploring their relationship with sexuality. We can offer solutions that will be beneficial in identifying areas where sexuality may be hurting yourself and other people that you love.

Our team has been trained by Dr. Patrick Carnes and the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction. Through our extensive training we are Certifed Sex Addiction Therapists with many years of experience healing the individual, the partner and the relationship.

Debi Hartwell, MA, CCC, CSAT-S, CMAT

www.debihartwell.com

Jo-Ann Trainor, MA, RCC, CSAT

www.joanntrainor.com

Glenda Lagasse MA, RCC, CSAT, CMAT

www.glendalagasse.com

We work as a team to support the addict, the partner and the relationship!

Please have a look at our individual websites and then contact the specialist of your choice to book a free 15 minute consultation session to see if we can be of support!

Resources

If you are concerned about your sexual health go to www.sexhelp.com and click on”Am I a Sex Addict?” to take the sexual addiction screening test.

For the Partner

Dr. Stephanie Carnes, “Courageous Love”

Michelle Mays, “The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person you Love the Most Hurts you the Worst”

E. VandeReis, “On the Journey: Poems of Betrayal and Hope”

C. Juergenson Sheets and A. Katz, “Help Her Heal: A Empathy Workbook for Sex Addicts to Help Their Partners Heal”

J. Spring and M. Spring, “After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner has Been Unfaithful”

T. Dayton, “Heartwounds”

C. Courtois, “It’s Not You, It’s What Happened to You: Complex Trauma and Treatment”

COSA

Emotions Anonymous

S-Anon

For the Addict

M. Chamberlain and G. Skinner, “Love you, Hate the Porn; Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity”

Patrick Carnes, “Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction” and “Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery”

Wendy Maltz and Larry Maltz, “The Porn Trap; The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography”

Carol Juergensen Sheets, Allan Katz, et al, “Helping Her heal: An Empathy Workbook for Sex Addicts to Help Their Partners Heal”

Robert Weiss, “Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men”

Eddie Cappucci PhD and Drew Boa, “Going Deeper: How Your Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction”

Sex Addicts Anonymous

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

www.sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Sex Addiction Vancouver helps individuals and couples who are struggling with addictions and trauma. We specialize in sex, porn and substance abuse addictions.